"Simper and lo in totality the planet along with thee doth likewise!"
Awhile back I wrote a little story about three pigs and a wolf. I made the horrific mistake of claiming that my version of this tale was an "Old English" retelling. Most people didn't notice. Most of the people who noticed didn't care.
But some people cared.
A lot.
Turns out my story is not "Old English". Far from it. Old English is nothing like present day English (or 'Modern English' for anyone getting ready to click the comment button to give me the proper term). If you don't believe me, borrow a quote from this blog and claim that it's Old English. Eventually you will encounter a passionate Old English aficionado who doesn't mind risking the perceived status of "decent, kind-hearted human being" to condescendingly explain to you that only imbeciles don't know the difference between Homer's "The Odyssey" and anything Shakespeare wrote.
My three pigs story was just meant to be funny. That's all I really cared about when I wrote it. It wasn't intended to be a serious response to Shakespearean literature.
And neither is this blog.
I'll post some common phrases, tricked up in what I'm tempted to call Old English but of course that's wrong, to make them more fun to articulate in colloquial vernacular. It makes me smile and as the phrase goes, "Smile and the world smiles with you."
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